You Read My Mind and Put It To Music....

Ever listen to a song and think... FUCK?!?! That's EXACTLY what I wanted to say and couldn't.
Well my one at the minute is:

P!nk, Fuckin' Perfect

Here are the lovely lyrics...
(courtesy of http://www.metrolyrics.com/fuckin-perfect-lyrics-pink.html )

Made a wrong turn, once or twice.
Dug my way out, blood and fire.
Bad decisions, that's alright.
Welcome to my silly life.
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood.
Miss 'No way, it's all good', it didn't slow me down.
Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated.
Look, I'm still around.

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than fuckin' perfect.
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing,
You're fuckin' perfect to me*

You're so mean when you talk about yourself; you are wrong.*
Change the voices in your head; make them like you instead.*
So complicated, look happy, you'll make it
Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game.
It's enough; I've done all I can think of.
Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same.

Woah ohh, pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than fuckin' perfect.
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing,
You're fuckin' perfect to me.

*Particular parts of this song apply to one of my best friends...you know who you are :D

LMC
xxx

I Work All Day and Sleep All Night,....(for once) Im not wasting my time!

I finally found a job! Yahoo
After months of searching, printing and sending CV's, someone finally decided I was hireable material and gave me the opportunity. I'm working as housekeeping staff in a local hotel. Some would find it degrading, or repulsive cleaning toilets, and checking out hotel rooms, and I will admit its certainly not what i want to spend my life doing, but as a fulltime summer job, i cannot complain. my hours are great, have every evening to myself and two days off a week, wages weekly and friendly co-workers! Could I ask for better?
Like I said, alot of people, especially those looking for an easy part time job, would turn and run at the thought of cleaning toilets, but if I'm honest, its really not that big of a deal, you tend to forget about the reality of it all, and just get on with it. As for the embarrassment of being a cleaner, or the expectation that i should be foreign; its a local hotel, i wont be seeing locals there so why worry!
I find it a bit bothersome that there is such a stereotype associated with cleaners nowadays (or as I prefer: housekeepers). During my first week, I was introduced to all the staff as I met them and one lady exclaimed 'She's Irish?!? Where'd you find her?'.... I didnt know whether to be offended or...
Another Filipino co-worker asked if I was polish... why is it such a surprise that I am Irish??? Because these days people are too good for this kind of menial work... I aint! I am delighted to be earning money for 'such menial work' and while it's tiring... it keeps me busy and I am more than happy not to laze about and turn into a fat mess this summer!

While the repetition of the job is a potential bore, (same rooms every day), the routine suits me to the ground. Tea break and toast at 10, lunch at 1pm sitting infront of Home and Away and Neighbours... you wont here me complain any time soon.
Like I said, I dont expect to spend my life at this job, but for the time being I am content and LOADED :p :D

Happily,
LMC
xxx

Keep Your Friends Close... At Your Own Risk

I'm the kind of person that has a few very very close friends. I confide in people and let them in quickly, developing comfortable relationships. But what happens when all that trust turns sour? When they turn and use it against you, when they choose others over you, when they move on in life.... Who's left? No one. The one advantage of having so few friends... loneliness is inevitable.

First year in college has been amazing. Made a tonne of friends, all lovely people, and a few close friends. But my little core group of friends was shattered by a stupid misunderstanding and a perfect example of mixed messages. Sadly, because most of the core group of friends I had live together, I became the outsider when they joined against me. Ive been ignored for the past month now by one friend who is WAAAAAY over-reacting, and by another who is simply being a douche. And while I know for certain I didnt do anything wrong, nothing that deserved this kind of treatment, I feel so betrayed and isolated. People I thought were good friends of mine have just cast me out, forgotten about me, turned against me in hatred... and I dont know why!

To trust someone and have them take advantage of that is the worst thing about how open I am with people...
My best friend in secondary school never ever opened up to me, not til I confronted her about it in the last week of school. I know I voluntarily open up to people, but it implies that I expect and welcome the same in return. You may have a horrible secret or something you're ashamed of, have never told someone.... IM YOUR WOMAN.... i too have things like that, and I have shared them.. and the relief when that person still loves you exactly the same as before you confided, lets you know you've found someone special. Recently too, my best friend from home told me drunkenly that she lies to me sometimes and doesnt tell me the full truth... while I knew she wasnt in her right mind, i felt so let down, like she didnt trust me or something. I want people to know I am trustworthy. Knowing that one of my closest friends has told me something no one else knows, made me feel so useful and needed. I love that.
I just wish i could find more people who would be just as open back, so a mutual trust and confidence in the relationship could be formed.

Sincerely,
LMC
xxx

Left Behind

Recently I’ve been feeling rather worthless; like no one would think twice if I wasn’t around. No one would miss me if I disappeared to another country for a year. I guess my situation in life isn’t helping. I’m a college student, people around me are bound to be itching to travel, explore the world and gain experiences while they have the chance. I’ve just begun to feel like I’m being left behind.
Why would I be more hesitant than anyone else to uproot and move to Australia in the next 9 months? Why don’t my future prospects involve travelling far and wide? Perhaps I’m simply a home-bird, or maybe I couldn’t bear the thought of living without my close friends nearby. Thanks to technology, these days, no one is further than a text away, but is that enough? No relationship, whether platonic or passionate can survive on texts and facebook chats. Is it just that I value the people in my life more?
In my first relationship, we took a week’s holiday to a beach house about 3 hours from our home town. It was the best week imaginable. As though we were on our honeymoon, we got on like a house on fire. No arguments, no irritations, plenty of sharing and happy co-existing. My mam would ring everyday and ask ‘are you getting on each others nerves yet?’ and each day I’d answer happily with ‘actually no. We are having a ball’ and it was the truth.
Personally and truthfully, I would consider myself a nightmare roommate. I am very set in my ways and I like things done certain ways. I share when it suits me and I have annoying habits. I wouldn’t inflict my company for that length of time on anyone. But, unbelievably it was perfect. Unfortunately, when it came to the question of work experience for college, the dream boyfriend didn’t bat an eye leaving me for 6 weeks to travel across the country. While he said he missed me frequently, it didn’t soothe the loneliness and abandonment I felt.
My best friend has now announced that she is jetting off to New York next summer, with her best friend... Makes me feel... AH... COME BACK!
Again, with my current love interest, his recent plans to uproot and move to Australia indefinitely have left me shell-shocked. The mere thought of him moving halfway across the world, seemingly without a second thought to me, breaks my heart a thousand times over. Granted we are in two different stages of life, he has finished college while i am only starting out. Still, it forces you to consider that you mean little or nothing to this person. A thought that crushes you inside when you compare it to the love you feel for them.
At the end of the day, my conclusive statement would be: I wish I meant more to the people that mean most to me.

Still,
LMC
xxx

How Evil Can Be So Very Very Good!

'Does he wash up? No, he never washes up! He does nothing! The boy does nothing!'

Lets face it ladies, the EASIEST way to get a man to come around to your way of thinking is simple... appeal to his 'desires'. Now I am giving no one permission to manipulate, control or take advantage of anyone. But we all know there is one guaranteed way to win over any man..... offer him what you know he cant refuse!
It may be cruel, it's definitely a Hail Mary pass... but whatever happened to Carpe Diem.. If you want something and there's a chance you could get it... GO FOR IT. I see no sense in sitting around thinking.. 'hmmmm I wish..' It will get you no where. You want something you go get it.
Now it can be anything from a 'free house booty call' to 'Please do the laundry'. Apply this theory to any situation. For anyone that might say we are not material things, we shouldn't have to put ourselves up to this just to get our way... I have two things to say to you:
1) do you not enjoy sex? ... cos you benefit too.. its not just him.. this is the perfect win win situation!
2) Everything in moderation! I'm all for men respecting women as well they should. but every once in a while it cant hurt to remind him how much fun you are when he's a good boy :P

Let it be said: I ain't the kinda gal that chooses 'put out' over 'give out', but I do strongly believe that,... if it works... why change it :P


You agree? You strongly disagree and think I'm a tramp?? Let me know :P
Each to their own, right??

Confidently,
LMC
xxx

It's the Truth... It sure ain't Ugly!

Anyone seen the movie: 'The Ugly Truth' ..

*If Yes... continue reading
*If No... see link for synopsis:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ugly_Truth_(film)#Plot

So, I watched it and I cringed at Abby's inability to be flirty, charming and, well downright socially cool. Unfortunately, most of my cringing was in fact empathy... I would be the very same. I AM the very same! I put men on pedastals, I get super shy and cant think of a single thing to say. Usually no one can get me to shut up. I'm usually fine ON dates, but its securing the dates that trips me up... BIGTIME!
Thankfully I too have a "Mick" to give me tips and help me along with my "Colins".... and while this is great... being spoonfed a conversation starter or clever response leaves me feeling even more incompetent and less self assured than before I started.
There must be some trick! I highly doubt every single girl out there has a background assistant, a flirting guru or even a socially-inept friend whispering into their ear. There must be a way to learn how to flirt, or know what and what not to say...
Sadly, I can only relate to Abby, and get all tongue tied and embarrassed while trying to talk and act cool... I'm like a female version of Raj from the Big Bang Theory...

I mean I can talk to most guys... I'm very rarely cool but I've always used humour as a kind of social shield..... Im sure I dont need to keep going on, I'd say by now most of you are well convinced of my awkwardness :P
But recently, there's been a new interest, a new 'Colin' and well... I have never been more nervous, clammy, shy, embarrassed and speechless in front of someone.... AND I WAS ONLY TALKING TO HIM ON FACEBOOK!

Although I could relate to Abby and watched her learn from Mick and get Colin etc... at the end of the day she ends up with Mick who likes her for who she really is.... so... Im no mathematician... but that would logically suggest someone will like how socially awkward I am and find me....? I know I need a guy who can coax me out of the social coma i fall into when i need to communicate with attractive men :P

Seems highly unlikely.. but sure... we'll see!

Awkwardly,
LMC
xxx

Crumbs In Your Bed And Other Heart Breaking Things...

I love cleaning... it's what I do when I’m stressed, bored, expecting guests, sad, happy, excited. It’s just what I do! I also love my bed. Very little comes between me and my bed. I have an obsolete desk and chair in my room thanks to my bed. I literally live from my bed. It is the hub of my world. My dinner table, my workspace, and mostly, my actual bed! But isn’t it just the WORST, most soul destroying thing, to turn over one night and feel that itch, that scratch... that CRUMB on your sheets. And try as you might to sweep it off, it just bounces about, like a baby on a bouncing castle. And they never work alone, oh no they come in troops.... almost like an assembly! Its times like these I regret my midnight escapades to the kitchen for toast, or that delicious yet disastrous granola! Either way, despite the regret I feel for eating it, I love it.... and I could never begrudge its crumbly nature.
Although all the above sentiments are accurate and true, I am speaking metaphorically and sort of continuing on from my last post... a sequel if you will.... I’ve come to a conclusion: my heart hates me.... it doesn’t want me to be happy, instead its chosen to torture me daily by sending thoughts to my brain that discourage moving on... and while I love to fantasize and escape into my imagination of what could have been.... there’s always a CRASH! The insensitive comment, the absence of a simple ‘x’ or the plain ignoring of a text... and I feel sad, disappointed, rejected, hurt... all the feelings I’ve been through before, only fresher because I allowed my heart to tease me... and yet I wont ever learn... ill let my mind wander from time to time, and because of human nature, and well lets face it, guys being downright oblivious... ill get shell-shocked every time... talk about a vicious circle.
But... if there could be one, the light at the end of the tunnel would be: hopefully... these moments of hurt will build up and incite immunity if not a resistance in me. My heart might cop on to the reality of the situation and eventually... I won’t care.
This is all assuming I’m not being super sensitive. Who knows?

As ever,
LMC
Xxx