you know what... sometimes life is too damn tough... but I'm not even sure I'm entitled to say this?? Am I merely suffering from 'first world problems' as they say?
I just can't stand it when just as you've recovered from one mishap/hurdle/upset... and think everything is just hunky dory, you turn a corner and BAM, something else happens that just fucks your day right up.... I mean come on, is there not meant to be a daily quota on shit like this..???
I find myself getting frustrated, taking deep breaths and asking 'what did i do to deserve this??' and yet, my life isn't so bad, nor are my 'problems'. I'm sure many many people worldwide could read this and think 'oh shut up girl, you are fine....'
But baring that in mind, i still feel awful...! I can't help but feel a bit selfish... wanting to wallow in my own "troubles" for a while.... write about them so as to alleviate the stress... because that's just how I do things....
Is this such a big deal??
Afterall, I find myself short on proper friends right now... people I can pick up the phone too and rant away... because we're busy, I'm too busy, we've all got shit going on, important things, deadlines, assignments... I'm guilty of letting this become my excuse too! Aren't we all...?
I just wish I could figure out some kind of way of fitting both in... I mean, right now it's college... final year, exams and deadlines approaching, it is all such a rush, such a hurry... as if I didn't see this coming for the past 3 years...
But all of a sudden I find myself blaming everything on this... I don't need to focus on being the best in work cos hey... i hopefully won't be here for much longer... I will make time for my friends after my exams... they'll still be there right??
Everyone else always seems so on top of these things, so together, organised, so little to 'sort out'...
It's times like these that I wonder... are some people destined to lead disorganised, hectic lives that consist of several disruptions every day... if it's not a heap of college work, or stressful commute, or busy day at work, or annoying customer, or slow internet, or crashing computer, or a lazy team mate, or a sick dog, or a messy house, or crappy weather, or headache for no reason.... what will it be ????
My one and only solution to days like this.... SLEEP... just get under the covers, forget about it all, cos nothing matters in Duvet Land, and just close your eyes and sleep... forever and ever... when you wake up tomorrow you'll laugh at the days mishaps, you'll shrug at the "deep insightful" blog... and you'll carry on living, wondering what kind of quests the day has in store.
Alright then.... good night..